tXcOnce you get to a certain age 1, specially as a woman, people won’t stop nagging you about having kids 2. No, thanks! My affection is reserved to other mammals.
You are abroad, little foreigner. Far away from your country, your native language, and your folks. Whether you are living abroad or traveling with friends, foreigners often stick together and use their common language to communicate, and most of the time they assume that there’s no one around who can decipher their messages. Well… watch out, for the language ninja might be right behind you!
Here are some case studies featuring The Language Ninja in action:
Case study #1 (image above)
I’m on the subway in Berlin on my way to meet a friend. The two Spanish women next to me are exchanging workplace gossip, including some disgusting pranks and sketchy office practices that could get more than one person fired. My friend calls me up, I start talking to her in Spanish while I can see the two women going vampiric pale and sweating more than sinners in a church.
Case study #2
I’m getting groceries in a supermarket in Savonlinna (Finland) and two dark-haired guys stare at me as I walk past them. Spaniard A says to Spaniard B: “Look at that curvy goddess”. I turn around and reply: “¿Gracias?”. Hysteric giggles follow. We end up in a karaoke bar singing hits of the 80s.
Case study #3
I’m in a hostel in Stockholm and introduce myself – in English – to a bunch of friendly Austrian guys. I unpack and do my thing while they resume a heated conversation about their sex lives, their numerous partners and their kinkiest bedroom stories. After half an hour one of the Austrians asks me about the location of the showers and I respond in flawless German. The Austrians burst into hysteric laughter, which takes almost ten minutes to dissipate, and spend the next hour apologizing. Later that day I meet their girlfriends, who insist on me tagging along to the bars that night (#solotravel). The Austrian guys spend the night subtly paying for all my drinks in exchange for my silence on their sex stories.
What about you? Have you ever been busted by a language ninja? : )
A good night’s sleep, a neat hairdo, concealing make-up, a nice smile… It doesn’t matter what you do, your passport picture is always going to depict a deranged version of yourself: the passport mutant.
One ocean, thousands of miles and endless bureaucracy. We didn’t have it as easy as ordinary people,
but this is no ordinary love.
Languages weren’t the only thing I found fascinating as a child. In fact, my plan B was to become an architect, but apparently what I had in multilingual superpowers I lacked in mathematical knowledge. At least that’s what my 1st grade teacher told my parents…
Living abroad is great, but sooner or later you are bound to miss certain things about your home country. For me, it’s Mediterranean meals and produce. Whenever I visit my hometown, I seriously consider booking two seats for the flight back. :B
In theory, everything seems easy, and then reality hits.
When I was four, my dad got our first gaming console. I was thrilled, except for the bit where I couldn’t understand anything the screen said. I knew all the letters, but their combinations didn’t make any sense to me. “It’s English”, my dad said.
Exactly two months left before the wedding day! How’s the planning going? Oh, well… easy peasy lemon squeezy.
